What is the meaning of attachment?
Attachment is coming from a need or a lack within yourself. Attachment is running away from what is inside of you- it’s running away from where the insecurity within you lays. When you attach to something (money, job etc) or attach to another person, it means there is a lack of appreciation in your life. Attachment means you have to have everything your way according to your own belief system. Attachment goes against the natural flow of the universe.
Attachment means you want things to be a certain way, in the present moment and you start worrying about your life and your future. For example, you might fall in love with someone but over time your partner is not meeting your expectations. That means in reality you don’t accept your partner as they are- you may want your partner’s money, you may want their intelligence, you may want the security they offer, you may want companionship but you want those things in the shape and form your beliefs want those things to be.
What happens next is that you are not going to be happy until you get what you want in that relationship: you are going to control or constantly complain about the other person.
In other words, if your partner gives into your demands (ie fulfills your false beliefs), you get what you believe you want, but this gives you a false sense of happiness. Sadly, you are looking for any excuse to fulfill the agony inside your heart.
When one attaches more than another in a relationship, that means the relationship is not in balance. With attachment, the relationship is dead because it is based on need (based on your inner belief system), not on love or appreciation.
You have to know why you love that person.
If appreciation in the relationship is gone then the only thing left in the relationship is attachment. The relationship does not have any emotions, any feelings. Anger is the end result of the attachment- “that’s it I don’t want a relationship any more”.
Expectation is a limitation of a programmed mind. When there are expectations, people will be disappointed. Attachment is when you want to control a situation and you will not accept anything less. Jealousy does not come from appreciation, it comes from attachment.
What is appreciation?
Appreciation is accepting the way your life is and loving the way your life is, instead of fighting the circumstances or the people in your life. That means attachment is the negative side and appreciation is the positive side. Appreciation is about accepting everything in your life. There is no negative side of appreciation.
So attachment doesn’t mean that you can’t be attached to anything in life. Instead you should appreciate everything in life. Appreciation is part of unconditional love.
Start practising and extend your love and genuine appreciation to everyone and everything in your life and you will soon see and experience the positive changes.
With love, kindness & compassion,
Issam Kadamani
© Healing Master Issam, International College of Meditation & Healing
